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50 Shades of Grey Role Play for BDSM Beginners

50 shades of grey bdsm role-play consensual non-consent impact play power dynamics power exchange sadism
BDSM couple role playing

“50 Shades of Grey” is a popular novel by E.L. James that has garnered widespread attention and controversy since its release due to its foray into the world of BDSM sex.  Many believe its rise to popularity is largely a result of people, and especially women, being able to openly discuss their sexual fantasies that society had previously largely suppressed.  In other words, the book helped to make BDSM a mainstream topic of discussion.

The story also appeals to the rags to rich and famous fantasy.  It is a fantasy where no matter how plain, boring, and unimportant your life seems, there is one person out there that can instantly change your life and make it full of adventure; the modern day knight in shining armor fantasy.  Boys fantasized about being Luke Skywalker while girls can now fantasize about being Anastasia Steele.

Themes of 50 Shades of Grey

The book tells the story of Anastasia Steele, a young and innocent college student who becomes involved with a wealthy and mysterious businessman named Christian Grey. 

Anastasia and Christian’s relationship is enigmatic, complex and intense, with Christian introducing Anastasia to the world of BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism).  Christian is a dominant sadist who wants Anastasia to become his submissive.  The two engage in a number of activities that involve power dynamics and kinky sexual practices.

One of the main themes of "50 Shades of Grey" is the exploration of Anastasia’s own sexual desires and boundaries, as well as the evolution of her relationship with Christian.  Anastasia is initially hesitant to engage in the BDSM lifestyle, but eventually becomes more comfortable with it and begins to enjoy the power dynamics in the relationship. 

However, the book also deals with issues of consent and communication, as Anastasia and Christian struggle to navigate the complexities of their dynamic and communicate their needs and boundaries to one another.  The book also touches on themes of trust and commitment, as Christian grapples with his own inner demons and past trauma. 

In addition to the BDSM elements, “50 Shades of Grey” also explores the themes of love, romance, and personal growth.  As Anastasia and Christian’s relationship deepens, they both must confront their own fears and insecurities and learn to trust and rely on one another.  The book ultimately portrays the relationship between Anastasia and Christian as a journey of self-discovery and personal growth for both characters. 

Criticism and Impact on Society from 50 Shades of Grey

The book has received a significant amount of criticism for its depiction of BDSM and its portrayal of a relationship dynamic that some argue is unhealthy and promotes abusive behavior.  Others have praised the book for its exploration of alternative sexualities and its portrayal of a complex and nuanced relationship. 

Regardless of one’s personal feelings about the book, it is clear that “50 Shades of Grey” has had a significant impact on popular culture and has sparked important conversations about love, sex, and relationships.  It remains a widely popular and controversial book to this day.

The book and movies are arguably largely responsible for the rise in sex toy sales over over the past ten years and normalcy of BDSM discussions.  Prior to the mass popularity of the book, whenever BDSM topics were brought up or shown on television or in movies it was a done as a gauge joke to show how weird or strange a specific character was.  Now we are seeing characters in shows and movies bring up BDSM in a more serious tone.

BDSM Role Play for Beginners

Couples looking to try BDSM can use the story of "50 Shades of Grey" as a role play guide.  Often couples wishing to try something new in the bedroom are reluctant to engage in impact play or any type of bondage and discipline activity with their partner.  Role playing allows couples to jump outside of their normal personality and play dress up for an evening.

Role playing Christian and Anastasia from "50 Shades of Grey" is perfect for a BDSM beginners couple as Anastasia is also completely new to the world of BDSM in the story.  As a couple the man will be the dominant who teaches the woman how to be the submissive.  As Anastasia, the woman can sometimes laugh at the demands of her dominant lover, just as Anastasia does in the story.  This should lead to the dominant dishing out further punishment to his non-consenting sub.

Consensual Non-Consent Negotiating as Foreplay

In the story there is a big emphasis on the two characters writing up a contract on what can and can't be done during their playtime.  This centers around the themes of how to construct consensual non-consent where the submissive is agreeing beforehand what they will be consenting to prior to their sex scene taking place.

Regardless of the role play aspect, as a couple you should talk beforehand about what each of you is willing and not willing to do or have done to you.  However, you can start the role playing well before the actual sex night by role playing the negotiation and contract writing.  This will add a level of foreplay and excitement to your special night.

Set up a sex date night with your partner where you will try BDSM as the characters from "50 Shades of Grey".  Perhaps the date night will be Friday after a long week of work.  Throughout the week, email or text each other updated terms for the evening.  After a week of negotiations and foreplay, by the time Friday night rolls around you will be ready for complete sexual ecstasy.

 

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